I am learning how little convergent goals mean. Because once they converge, they go right ahead and diverge.

I joined Bevar Sea because I thought, I love riffs and doom and tuning slow and playing low and here is a set-up within which I can do that. These were the convergent goals. I forgot the divergent goals: I like composing songs, I like writing lyrics, I dislike most aspects of  rock/metal 'attitude', I want to express myself. Ultimately, simply playing bass for someone else's band was not the right place for me.

I do appreciate that the divergent aspects were made clear quite early on. It was my mistake that I did not think them through.

More recently, though, I entered into an alliance that I feel was mooted in bad faith, or that has since been taken in bad faith. I am a trustee of an animal welfare organisation, but I am never consulted on decisions, my inputs are ignored or dismissed and my wish to redress the imbalance created by most Bangalorean animal welfare organisations working primarily or solely with dogs rather than cats has not been addressed, not does it seem like a priority.

In this case, I genuinely feel like I was not given all the facts in the beginning. I was sought out for this trust precisely because of the work I already do and the network and experience I already have. However, the latter are consistently ignored and beyond financial aid, which I could and have in the past raised on my own, the former is not being supported.

I think the important thing here is to see that needs have diverged, that shared goals are too broad to be of use in getting on with things and that a true picture of some situations only emerges over time. I have specific goals, and while I share the trust's overall ambit, it is not geared sufficiently towards these goals.

It is good to loosely ally with people who have similar overall goals. It is important, however to make close alliances only with those whose specific goals are the same as yours. This is what I think I have learned.