Metal culture has a serious 'good German' problem. Virtually every metalhead I know has posted something in the last few months about how some group of elitists or n00bs or old schoolers or core kids or backbiters or backscratchers is fucking up the scene, but hardly anyone ever thinks they might be part of the problem. The people I can relate to most are the chronic malcontents, the ones who have always critiqued the 'culture' while remaining true to their own personal journeys as listeners.
And really, the problem isn't that different people have different tastes or that they're not accepting of other people's tastes. The problems are: that we're content to be a bunch of marketing-driven consumers, no matter how niche a market we constitute, but we think we're some sort of gritty, independent underground subculture. That we settle too often for bands that make all the right noises and punch all the generic buttons, but have little to offer beyond that. That we think most metal radio and magazines are not as much a marketing tool as their mainstream counterparts.
A lot of these people forget that dissent is not aggression; disagreeing with you is not the same attacking you (although one can shade into the other) and not liking your favourite band doesn't really add up to being narrow minded and hate-filled (except when it does). The beer and buddies and 'bangers vibe, which is valid as far as it goes, is not the be-all of the genre. It's more important to form your own tastes. And remember what Peter Steele said: don't mistake lack of talent for genius.