Saturday, 10 July 2010

'Better than the truth because as big as you can think.'

- John Crowley

I know I've been lazy lately, just using this as a dump for gnomic utterances scissored out of other people's words. I've been taking on ridiculous amounts of work, good (rewriting the manuscript of a book about cutting domestic energy usage), bad (writing articles about asphalt) and ugly (creating a site that has to look like this atrocity). I was ill for a while and I'm still kind of run down, I'm spreading myself pretty thin and I haven't had a proper break since that fateful day in November 2008 when I was hurled up screaming from the abyss by a jealous adversary. I've been playing bass for a friend's band for about a year and our rehearsal schedule is stepping up as we prepare to finally record. I've been dealing with severe pangs of depression, self-doubt and self-loathing as magazine after magazine rejects the best story I've ever written. I'm trying to find the courage to pour blood and sweat into a new batch of stories that may be as good as the one that no one wants (hah!), only it won't work unless I let it bleed. I've hardly had time to even read in the last couple of months as a glance at my 'Books Read in 2010' sidebar will show.

In short, I'm cracking up.

And yet, I have plans. Big plans. Stay tuned for some/more.

1 comment:

Mahesh Raj Mohan said...

Don't crack up! I'm still committed to some of the big plans you mentioned. Stay strong, and I'm pleased (though not surprised) that you're busy. As for the story, I can't say that I haven't ever felt the same way, but I just shrug and say, "next!" Cheap comfort, I know, but the world will marvel at your brilliance, my friend. They'll kick themselves for not getting on the Japey bandwagon sooner.