Tuesday 18 February 2014

I don't enjoy playing live the way  I used to. I used to totally feed on the energy of being up there in front of an audience, blasting out the riffs. Lately, it just seems like a terrible way to waste an evening I could have spent meeting friends and checking out some bands instead of dealing with all the logistics and stress around making those 30 minutes in stage happen. Still, there have been some great moments along the way:

Covering Iron Maiden's 'To Tame A Land' with Abaddon sometime in 1998.

Playing with Cryptic at IIT Madras in 1999, or maybe 2000, especially when we played our new song 'Witches Broom', a trippy tune about getting high.

Playing my song 'Zero' along with the very short-lived band Ashes Move at a Freedom Jam in 2001.

All those gigs with Arcane Ritual in 2001, including the Death Fest, but especially the ones in Bangalore and Mysore where we were getting tighter and tighter and I was playing the bass faster than ever before or since.

Playing Black Sabbath's 'Into The Void' - an absolutely favourite of mine - on stage with Bevar Sea sometime in 2011, I think.

Playing 'I Zombie', 'Weird Tales' and 'Mortal Science' with Djinn And Miskatonic to an audience of 15, at leaaast 5 of whom didn't even like us, at a Freedom Jam in 2012.

Djinn And Miskatonic's first gig in Bombay - the very first time anyone tried to mosh to us!

As far as I am concerned, this journey is coming to an end. There will be one very special gig by Djinn later this year, one more chance to make some memories. But I've reached a point where I really don't have the fire to play live anymore. These things happen and how long can you keep fooling yourself that you'll get any better or that the scene will wake up and embrace you unanimously or that having a niche audience in a niche scene is meaningful enough to waste hours of an already crowded life. 

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